What we most need to know that when our life has fallen apart, or we ourselves have fallen apart — whether it’s from physical illness or pain, or mental illness or mental pain. Or whether it’s because life’s rug got pulled out from under you, or because you are wading through a combination of unfortunate decisions that you made or others made and you’re dealing with the consequences…or maybe the world is just in chaos and that has made so many of your own life circumstances fall into a state of chaos………
…and you have to step away for a while. To heal, to figure things out, to rest, to get your head on straight, to get yourself sewn back together . . . whatever it is, you’ve had to step away from life.
What a person really needs to hear, and needs to know in times like these…..is that the people who love them will still be there once they can stand again, once they have things figured out, once they are done fighting the battle they’re fighting. That no matter how many days or weeks or months or years go by….that there will still be a seat for them. That they won’t have to explain anything once they get back because they are too weary to and sometimes too traumatized to explain.
What someone needs to know, the most helpful thing you could ever say is….no matter how much time goes by, you’ll be welcomed with open arms and there will always be a seat for you.
And…if you’re the person struggling….one of the best things YOU can say to all of those who want to help, and especially when you know that there’s almost nothing others can do to help except to pray…one of the best things you can do is just ask them for some grace and that if there will still be a place for you when you get back from where you have to go (even if that place is just your bed)
Sometimes we just need to know that no matter how much time goes by, and not matter what happens in the unknowing…when someone seems to have disappeared, that instead of making up stories in our head about where they went and what they are doing . . . we just let them know that we will see them as soon as we see them and our arms will always be open, no questions asked, no boxes to check, no guilt trips, no explaining required. That we are just so happy to have them back in our arms.
Because my friends, WE JUST DO NOT KNOW, WE CANNOT KNOW the battles that others are fighting in their lives. And even when we can’t help physically, just extending a promise that our love will never fade IS MORE HELP THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE.
I love you, fellow humans. In my wild and crazy life, I will always save a seat for you. It’s a fold-up camp chair in the back of my truck…and it’s always somewhere new….but there’s always a spot for you.
TRY IT OUT…if you haven’t heard from someone in a while, if they seem to have dropped off the face of the earth….just let them know that you’re there if they need help but mostly that NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED….the next time you see them, your arms will be wide open with a huge, overjoyed hug and that you can pick up where you left off – no questions asked. JUST LOVE.
It’s the greatest gift in the world…and it’s the one that so many of you have given to me. It is LIFE SAVING. xoxox
I love you.