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Soul Road #15 – The Road to Self-Correcting

Soul Road #15 – The Road to Self-Correcting

50 Roads #15 - THE ROAD TO SELF-CORRECTING (Roads #11-17 are letters to myself for what I wanted to find in therapy - they are filled with questions that I invite you to ask yourself) .............................................................. Dear Me, I am tired...

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Soul Road #14 – The Road to Self-Nurturing

Soul Road #14 – The Road to Self-Nurturing

I am ready to accept that although my work and my ways of being with others in the world is the best part of my life, it can quickly and easily become a coping mechanism, a way to avoid my own inner world and an unhealthy addiction.
I know that I do this. I know that this is the most ridiculous and inefficient and even destructive pattern. It’s humiliating and humbling to take a good hard look at how many times I have done this to myself, somehow believing that “this time” it will be different. Somehow believing that self-sacrifice is noble and right in all situations.

I want to stop doing it. I HAVE TO stop doing it. Only I can stop doing it.

I know that I have real and enormous fears that I will become a selfish and self-indulgent person — and therefore a completely unacceptable person. I know that there’s a part of me that finds this to be so unacceptable that I am willing to risk my present and future health to avoid ever becoming that. Yet, I push myself so far that the only way to recover is to stop everything and sequester myself. And then here I am, only able to focus on myself, just to stay alive. Here I am in an emergency self-focus — I have just created my worst fear.

This pattern is NOT OKAY WITH ME anymore. These old beliefs ARE NOT OKAY WITH ME anymore.

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Soul Road #13 – The Road to Self-Responsibility

Soul Road #13 – The Road to Self-Responsibility

I want to live out my own responsibility knowing that there will always be difficulty and distraction. There will always be unexpected bends and curves in the road. The road will sometimes end before I get to my destination. There will always be something confronting me that gives me the opportunity to choose between creating or destroying. Stalling or moving. Life or death. Kindness or contempt. Love or fear. Almost every single moment has 2 hands outstretched with one or the other to choose from. I want to take responsibility for what I do in those moments AND what I do after I choose.

I am going to mess up, even with best intentions. There will be times when I will wish I would have chosen differently. Those moments also hold tremendous opportunities. I want to take responsibility for choosing course correction over shame or blame. I want to extract the powerful lessons that come from “failure” and “mistakes” and I want to utilize the resulting potent energy of knowing I’ve missed the mark to fuel another try…and another.

I want to stop giving my own responsibility away for the results and rewards and consequences of my own life’s choices. Every action has a consequence. Every choice, every thought. Every next moment, and what happens in that moment, it all has consequences. Whatever I choose, I want to take responsibility for.

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Soul Road #12 – The Road to Self-Remembering

Soul Road #12 – The Road to Self-Remembering

Dear Me,
I need to find some pieces. And I am so reluctant because I know how tricky fragments can be. I don’t want to cram pieces into the puzzle I’m putting together that just “sort of” fit. I’d rather have a hole where my puzzle is incomplete than a piece that doesn’t go there.

I need to remember myself back together, but once I’ve done all that I can do, I want to get back to living in THIS DAY. I want the parts of me that are trapped in the taped-up boxes of my past experiences to be set free.

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Soul Road #11 – The Road to Self-Honesty

Soul Road #11 – The Road to Self-Honesty

…………………………………………………………………………………………
Dear Me,
I think I am going crazy. I don’t know what is true.

So much of what I thought was true has crumbled. So much of what I built the foundation of my life on has disappeared, as if it was only an illusion all along.

I feel like I was just a rainbow. I was never anything real or solid.
And now I am gone. I don’t know where I went. I was here and then I was gone.
What am I?Who am I?
What is true about everything?

I need to know. Please give me the courage and the skills to be radically honest. First with myself and then with life. With others. In all things.

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Soul Road #10  – The Road To The Therapist

Soul Road #10 – The Road To The Therapist

50 Roads #10 - THE ROAD TO THE THERAPIST I used to give people with depression or anxiety really bad advice. Stuff like . . . “Just think positive!” or “Don’t let that get you down, just forget about it…” or “Count your blessings!” Ugh. I wish I could go back to every...

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Soul Road #9 – The Road To The Unwanted Truth

Soul Road #9 – The Road To The Unwanted Truth

50 Roads #9 - THE ROAD TO THE UNWANTED TRUTH Our world is suffering from a TRUTH crisis. So, individually I think lots of us have been suffering from a Truth Crisis of some kind or another, that's a long road I went down. I’ve found that you’ll drive yourself mad if...

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Soul Road #8 – The Road Where I Was The Stranger

Soul Road #8 – The Road Where I Was The Stranger

It’s a bizarre experience to set off into the world and not have anyone know who you are after you’ve spent your whole life in the same community where almost everyone knows who you are, generations back.

Lots of people knew me that way and I knew lots of people that way. But I also “knew” lots of people across the world online and from business. On one of my Soul Roads, my social media accounts were gone overnight. So over the last few years, I have had the opportunity to really experience what it’s like to go from having lots of community to having almost none.

Once my social media accounts were gone, after years and years of having an online following in the hundreds of thousands, I had to really come to terms with what social media has done not just to me, but to our human family.

I had to ask myself the preposterous question of whether I had any value if no-one knew who I am, where I am and what I am doing. And this would ultimately lead to me asking MYSELF – Do I even know who I am? Do I know where I am? Do I know what I am doing?

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Soul Road #7 – The Forbidden Road

Soul Road #7 – The Forbidden Road

When I turned the corner to step onto the forbidden road of well-being, I knew I was taking an enormous risk. I knew it was going to require the sacrifice of anything in my life that was there because of what I could produce.

There’s a showdown that happens when you stop trying to over-pay for your very existence. It’s like a settlement you have to reach with the part of you that wants to die a martyr. You have to give the martyr something to walk away with, so that you can be free.

It’s a separation of a life partner, you and your martyr have to part ways as she wags her finger accusingly, watching you fade off in the distance down the forbidden road.

So what will you give her, that old martyr who has been passively-aggressively shaming you for most of your life?

I gave her my lists of accomplishments, my grudges, my ledger books of how I’d been wronged, my ledger books of how wrong I was. I wrapped it all nicely in a banker’s box, made her a sandwich for the road and said “you head back down your road, and I’m gonna take this one….the sparkling forbidden road of self-responsibility, self-respect and humane free will.


I slowly headed down the forbidden road of no thank you -nope -not anymore -absolutely not and even hell no.

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Soul Road #6 – The Road Where I Changed My Name

Soul Road #6 – The Road Where I Changed My Name

We work hard to get letters behind our name. We work hard for titles and names to put behind our name. But those are all just EXPERIENCES that we get to have. They are not what make us who we are.When our old beliefs and habits are the sticky adhesive that won’t let those labels go, we have to take responsibility for how we’ve been believing ourselves right into old patterns…over and over and over. When we pull off the labels but the adhesive of old beliefs and patterns is still there, other stuff will just stick to the top of the old adhesive. There are a lot of broken people and organizations recruiting people with sticky habits and sticky beliefs, drooling at the thought of how easy it’s going to be to stick their label right where that old label was that you thought you’d gotten rid of.And that’s the tricky part . . . that’s why we run back to things after we think we’ve overcome destructive patterns. Because the adhesive is still there.When the adhesive is especially sticky, you have to use some pretty strong stuff to dissolve it off.And sometimes to get rid of the label entirely, everything under it has to disintegrate and dissolve too.

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