A pretty common thing that happens when life falls apart and you fall apart and breathing is your number one goal for the day is that your life just gets really small, really contracted and really self-centered. I hate that it’s true, but sometimes when you’re healing you get so centered on your own suffering that you can’t/don’t see the miracles happening right in front of your face. You just get really selfish.
I need to say that this is true for me. I thought I was so alone, but the truth is, I was surrounded almost all the time by earth angels and angels from other realms too. I wish I could have recognized it while it was happening.
The Road I Walked With Angels was a long and crowded road, actually.
I have known some monsters, let me tell you.
And I used to think they were real.
My biggest monsters have been big old bullies. And I have never quite known what to do with bullies, or about them. It’s been a struggle for most of the years of my life that I thought would go away as I got older. This road I’ve walked with monsters has taught me that even after I was a powerless child, I was still essentially feeding my monsters a very balanced diet that kept them alive and well.
Jealousy is a beast. So is pity.
It’s tough to walk next to someone who seems to have zero problems and plenty of fortune. It’s tough to walk next to someone who has an abundance of problems and lots of needs, too.
Seems like we want to just walk next to those who make us feel comfortable in our existence and circumstance.
I have felt jealousy and envy plenty in my life, and it’s never been a pleasant feeling. I have compared myself to my perception of someone else’s life experience and told myself all sorts of stories. Again, it never led to pleasant feelings.
Until I walked away from most of society for a while, I didn’t realize how much I’d been comparing my life to just about everyone in my view.
Staying or going. Holding on or letting go. Leaving it there or taking it with. Trying one more time or putting a stop to it.
Every day we have to choose between those things and more. And guess what, as long was we are making a “good” choice, a choice that we are making with the heart, mind and soul all showing up as best they can — those choices will turn out for OUR BEST. Because it’s about learning, growing and becoming. And having the grit to keep choosing new roads when old roads end is how we learn, grow and become.
Grit is a regret eliminator. The more you have the grit to try in life, the more you fall, but you also let feelings of regret go. The only regret you’re really left with is that you didn’t have more grit to try more things.
I had a severe case of fork phobia, but on this road, I learned to embrace and APPRECIATE the myriad choices that we all are able to enjoy. I learned to expect that the more decisions I made, the more risks I was taking. And the more risks you take, the more odds are that you’ll both love some of the decisions you make and you’ll learn from the ones that you wish you wouldn’t have made.
And if there were a book called “1000 Things Not To Do,” it would be every bit as valuable as the book called “1000 Things TO DO That Guarantee Success.” But there’s not a manual like that for the whole human family, because all of our lives are way too different. So we have to write that book ourselves. That means you’ve got to make at least 2000 decisions that either yield “TO DO” or “NOT TO DO.”
It’s all valuable. All of it. So get to it. Be brave. Keep deciding FOR YOURSELF. Don’t ever give that responsibility to someone else. Unless you love road rash.
